Around And Around We Go, Where It Stops Nobody Knows

The Royal Council Minus One sat around a table in the Moquot Lounge listening to their business manager deliver the bad news: the Moquot Nation will not survive if they continue to run the nation as it has always been run.

The Moquot Lounge is on the top floor of the high-rise office building that reaches 50 floors into the sky and is known as the Council’s “office” because of the amount of time they spend in the lounge. The Council often held business meetings in the lounge. Heavy security made sure that access to the lounge was restricted. Some of the Councilors entertained girlfriends in the lounge, sometimes wives, but never both at the same time.

The Moquot Lounge is reserved for the highest ranking officials and customers. The walls of the lounge are made of clear glass affording a sweeping view of the nation’s land. The lounge was built so that it rotated very slowly. One could sit in one spot for an hour and see a 360 degree view of the world for that is the amount of time it took for the lounge to turn completely in one full circle.

Many of the Royal Councilors would generally arrive at the lounge in the afternoon and often stay there well into the evening. Seven Snakes snapped his finger and a drink was immediately brought to him. The table was covered with sumptuous food.

“The bankers want their loans repaid. The largest loan, in the amount of $360 million needed to be repaid during the summer. We just don’t have the money.” the business manager told the Council.

The $360 million loan was only a fraction of the Moquot nation’s debt. They first borrowed the money ten years earlier and always refinanced the loan whenever it came due, which was twice before. The Moquot nation had been fortunate in recent years. Interest rates were at the lowest they had ever been so the interest payments on that debt had been manageable. This also put the Moquot nation at the mercy of outside forces now beyond their control: if interest rates began creeping upward, it would be devastating. Fortunately, interest rates weren't expected to rise anytime soon but the money borrowed still needed to be paid eventually.

The Royal Council has always spent money wildly. The Council's financial advisors always made sure the money was available for them to spend. Until now. It was out of the advisor's hands. The bankers now called the shots.

In years past, the bankers would trample over each other to lend the nation money but now it has become difficult to even get a return phone call from the bankers. And when they do call, its not about lending money, its about collecting on money they already lent to the Moquot nation.

Around and around went the lounge while the Royal Councilors tried to understand what the business manage was telling them. Seven Snakes got up from his chair and stumbled into the window. He pulled himself up and stumbled again. Instead of attempting to stand again, he sat up, and tried to focus his eyes on the business manager, then anyone. He could only make out figures, not faces. He was angry, “Why is this room spinning so fast! Who is screwing with the controls!”

“I will find whoever is responsible your majesty,” the business manager said.

The waiter helped Seven Snakes to his feet and then back to the table.

The business manager handed the eight Councilors three sheets of paper each. The Councilors looked over the sheets and then at the business manager. Like most of the nation’s executives, the business manager was not a Moquot citizen.

“What the hell is this?” asked Buffalo Nickel.

“These are … the nation’s financial statements. The first sheet is the balance sheet, the second sheet is the income statement and the third sheet is the statement of cash flows,” the business manager said.

"What do we need these papers for. Just tell us what it means," said Seven Snakes.

“If you turn to the second sheet, the income statement, you’ll see that the nation lost almost $4 million over the last three months. We would have had a small profit if it weren’t for that recently acquired Keystone Korporation, which lost $10 million over the last three months.”

“If you turn to the last sheet, the one that shows the cash coming in and the cash going out, which as you know we can’t fine tune with accounting gimmicks, is the sheet the bankers focus on. The situation doesn’t look good.”

There was an awkward silence around the table. The nation's constitution laid out the duties of the Councilors. Although each Councilor was the same in some respects but all of them also had some distinct duties. One of the Councilor's functions, for instance, was to review the financial statements each month. This resonsibility fell to Buffalo Nickel.

Buffalo Nickel had already contorted the income statement into such a shape that it now sat atop his head like a beanie cap and he was now working diligently on folding the balance sheet into a paper airplane.

The business manager needed to always keep his wits about himself. One careless smirk could result in him losing his half-million dollar salary. The business manager diverted his look from Buffalo Nickel's creations and cleared his throat, “Ernest Hemingway once asked someone how he went bankrupt. The man’s response was ‘first very slowly, then very quickly.”

Seven Snakes raised his drink slowly, then …Splash! The business manager’s head jerked backward. Seven Snakes’ vodka-laced cocktail was now running down the business manager’s face. “Yeah?,” said Seven Snakes to the business manager, “and that answer would be the same answer as to how my drink went empty! How ‘bout dat!"

All of the Councilors present laughed uproariously. One of the Councilors, Milty, was not present. Milty was told the meeting would be held at the Starburst coffee house.

Seven Snakes snapped his finger for another drink while the business manager silently wiped his face with some napkins.

Starsky, another Councilor asked the business manager what they should do about the financial situation.

“Fix it!!” Seven Snakes screamed at the business manager. “Now get out of here.” As the business manager walked toward the door, the Council applauded the first flight Buffalo Nickel's newly-made paper airplane, which glanced the business manager's head.

This too provoked another round of laughter from the Councilors.

The Royal Council Minus One then pushed the financial papers to one side, gulped down the drinks in front of them and came to a quick consensus about the next item on their business agenda: the next round of drinks.